Missing For 2 Months In Blog World

What happen during the past 2 months? Well laziness kicked in and there is not really anything special to write about besides the days I spend time with my beloved. I will start during her birthday and could I remember what happen? Very clear in my head because of her those memories will be forever cherished and remembered.

18th November 2012

Boy owh boy! It is her birthday! I just can't wait to go out with her. Megan my beloved who has turned 19. At the stroke of 12 I called her to wish her happy birthday. I came back from KL just so that I could celebrate her birthday because that is what she wanted. It would be disappointing if I could not see her. I felt happy because my plans were 1 step closer but things were not going according to plan. She was not allowed to go out. She argued with her mom. I felt sad for her because it was her birthday and she was not allowed to go out with the one she loved. I purposely ordered a Baskin Robbin's ice-cream cake for her. Thought we could just get the cake and eat sushi in Jusco. Her mom said her sister will have to go with her if she wants to go out with me. Come on! Why can't we just go out without anyone tagging along? What is it that I will do to my own girlfriend? Eat her up? Do silly things like what? I just want her to enjoy her 19th birthday that's all. 

It doesn't matter because I will not let her mom ruin her birthday. It seems like her mom dislikes me so much and she can think that I will do something silly with her then I will prove her wrong. I head to Jusco by taxi and Ipoh taxis do not use meter thus I have to fork out RM8 which is suppose to be lower due to the distance. It is okay I told myself because I have to deliver the ice-cream cake to her no matter what. As soon as I reached Jusco, I walked to Baskin Robbin's booth to collect the cake. It is Strawberry Cheese Cake ice-cream flavoured cake. Did I spell it wrongly or phrased it wrongly? Nope. There is a flavour which is Strawberry Cheese Cake. So it is not a cheese cake but just the flavour of the ice-cream.

After that, I walked to Sushi King in a fast paced because she was waiting (IT IS NOT GOOD TO LET A GIRL WAIT FOR TOO LONG). I ordered her favourite food which is Ika Karaage and Chuka Lidako. There is another one but I could not take away that for it is too troublesome and it would be in a mess, it is Ika Curry. While waiting for the food to be prepared for take away I ate some as well ;)

Okay! Cake DONE! Sushi DONE! What's next...

Chatime! One of her favourite! I bought 2 drinks, 1 for her and 1 for me. It took quite some time as I was in a rush. Once it was my turn, I took my drinks and head  for the taxi stand! Again my RM8 has flown away just to reach her house. It doesn't matter...need to deliver! 

I reached her house and she invited me in. Her mom and her sister were sleeping because they were sick. Her dad and her younger sister went out. Leaving her with her grandparents at home. Do I wanna do that something silly? Of course not! I respect my girlfriend and I went there just celebrate with her although it was just a short period. She felt so happy and she said it was her best birthday ever although she could not go out and celebrate with me. I fed her and spend some time with her before I got back home. Before that I also prepared her a hand made card. It was not that creative but I used my heart to make it for her. A pop up card which has 2 rabbits in the card. She was very happy indeed. I love to see her in a happy state. Especially when I am the one who makes her happy :)

14th, 15th & 16th December

I attended a camp known as Life Games Camp. but I reached there late because I have to present my game I created with my team in KDU. There were many big shots who were invited, especially Ubisoft representative :)

After the presentation, I head the camp site located at Rawang. Due to the camp's condition that I am not allowed to leak out any information, I can talk about some happy memories about the camp. One of it is where in the camp I got married with my beloved. It is just a game so it is not a real marriage. How I wish that it was a real marriage :P

I had fun with my beloved during the camp. We went swimming and she even bought me a T-shirt. I liked that T-shirt too because it says Jesus Christ and she bought it for me :)

Speaking of swimming, I saved a guy from drowning too. His name is Danny. I guess he did not expect that the pool will be that deep so he panic and started to lose control. How it happen? Well on that night I did not sleep because I did not want to go back to the dorm to sleep on the metal double decked bed. Any movements and the whole bed frame will squeak, disturbing everyone who is in there. So I stayed outside the dorm at the pool side. There is a table where I could rest there. I remembered it was about 7am in the morning where Jeremy asked me whether would I like to join them for swimming or not. I was blurring and looked at the pool because I did not know who was the them he was referring to. I answered "no" because I was pretty tired. All of a sudden I heard someone splashing the water and asked for help. I did not know what to do as I observe whether he was just playing or really drowning for about 1 or 2 seconds. I took of my white hoodie and I threw in on the ground because the resting chairs were wet and yes the ground was dry. I dived in as soon as I flung my hoodie on the ground and saved him by pulling him to the wall. He was actually pulling my friend down as well. When a person is drowning, all hell breaks lose. The person will grab anything just to keep his head above water. So he grabbed my friend and my friend was in trouble as well. After saving him I told those who where at the incident not to make it a big issue because I do not want campers to be restricted not to swim when there is a swimming pool. What fun would it be when you can't swim in a swimming pool? My life guard skills really put me into handy after so long. I was glad that I could use my skills to save a guy from drowning. Once I was out from the pool I was shivering like crazy! I was in my sleeping attire when I dived into the pool. LOL that made wide awake! 

The camp was fun anyhow and I wished I could attend or join more camps with my beloved :)

21st December 2012
OMG it is doomsday! LOL I wonder why people is spreading rumors about the end of the world. Its like hello~ Mayan's calender has ended its cycle not the end of the world dimwits! The Chinese calender has a total of 12 years cycle does it mean that every 12 years there will be doomsday? Don't think about how we are going to die. Instead think of how we are going to live happily. I want to live happily with my girlfriend and I am going to make her happy as well. No matter what happen to me, I will not give up loving her :)

I went on a date with my beloved and watched Life of Pi. It was a bit boring but in the cinema I was happy to have her by my side. Hugging her while eating nachos. Yum! Another favourite snack of hers during cinema. She really love eating nachos with me and after the movie, we went to Sushi King to eat. It was her all time favourite Ika Curry! We shared the food happily and end our date with a chatime drink. I was glad that I could spend a lovely day with her.

25th December 2012

It is Christmas! I went to church and to see my beloved singing in the choir. The church was packed like sardine can! This was my first time I saw so many people in the service because the previous years the church was not as pack as this time. After the service I ate lunch as lunch was provided. The food there was okay only. I fed my beloved ^^ she loves it when I feed her. Well I did not have any Christmas gifts, that makes me pretty sad but then when I think of my beloved, I am happy once again because I have her as my Christmas gift :)

31st December 2012

I was invited to my beloved's party at her house but my mom has booked a room in Kinta River Front Hotel because there were 2 rooms for free and it will be a waste since nobody is using the rooms. I wanted to attend the party just to see my beloved but I couldn't. I was pretty down because I thought I could see fireworks with her during the countdown. My mood changed into a happy mood as the clock strikes 12 again because I wished her Happy New Year through phone call.

9th January 2013
It was my day to head back to Uni and it was hers too. Ever since my beloved came back to me, I was feeling strong and was not afraid what if she is with Kel because I trust my girlfriend that she will not go back to him for I will try my best to make her happy. But she told me that she still likes him :(

My heart really really sank to the bottom of the abyss. I would do anything for her but why she can't do this for me? She will be jealous if I am talking to other girls and going out with them without her. She does not want me to do that and I agreed to that because I love her and I will try my very best to give and take. She is the girl of my life and I have decide to listen to her. Not as a dog but just a good obedient future husband. All I request was for her not to love other guys if she is having a relationship because I would get jealous too. My 5 year old girlfriend of mine has been with me whenever I was down and I have to be there for her as well. I do not want her to feel as if I was not there at all even though I am in KL. Distance sucks but no matter what I am not giving up on her and I will be continue waiting for her. I just hope that she waits for me too because I need to do certain stuff before I can perfect myself for her. Especially driving! I need to start driving already and I will force my parents to renew the road tax of my car so that I could drive to her house and visit her whenever I am back in Ipoh. I know she looked down on me and I was really really sad listening to what she said to me. I really wanted support from the girl I love. I do not want her to look down on me as I never look down on her before. I will be always there supporting my beloved and guide her. I do not mind not having a car to drive around but I mind when I could not drive her around. It makes me feel like I am so useless. I just hope she gives me few months time for me to practice more driving and not giving up on me for other guys :(

I love my girlfriend a lot <3

It Is Going To Be Her Birthday!

I am really excited over my girlfriend's birthday. It is 14 days from today which falls on 18th of November. I will be going back to my home town just because of her special day. She wanted me to go back to celebrate with her and I promised her. Well, before she wanted and before I promised, I have already made up my mind that I will go back for her birthday 7 months ago. My plan was to buy a cake for her and surprise her but she already knew what I will buy for her so it is still okay for me because she is still very happy with what I will give her. She is really looking forward to it but unfortunately for me, she did not anticipate that there will be some obstacles.

Her birthday is on Sunday and I will be back on Thursday night just to have a chance to go out with her on Friday. Saturday and Sunday is not possible for me to go out with her because of her parents. It is a long story but just to cut it short, she is can hardly go out on a Saturday or a Sunday. That is why I will be rushing back on a Thursday night so that Friday will be the perfect day. Well, it turns out to be Friday she has extra classes just to finish off those unfinished assignments. Sigh~ I know it is not her fault and I am not blaming her. It is just that I could not go out with her although I am in Ipoh.

Why not go out on a Monday some might be wondering. Well, her mom is taking leave on Monday and she will be celebrating with her. Hmmm~ her birthday is on a Sunday and her parents are around. So is her mom saying that she will be celebrating with her daughter on a Monday whereas Sunday they will be having dinner together? Seriously I do not know why. As long as her mom is there, I have no chance to go out with my girlfriend. I am quite sad when I do not know what to do. But hey although she cannot go out with me, I still can deliver the cake to her house and walk back home with half a broken heart. Well it is better than a whole heart broken. I just want her to enjoy her birthday happily with or without me. Isn't that what a boyfriend should do? I hope she will be happy =)

If There Is A Broken Heart, Let It Be Mine And Not Hers

My honey has decided to break up with him for once and for all but he did not want to let go. Seriously? He is not letting go of my honey? Why must he still hold on to her? My honey insist to be friends with him but he just do not want to let go of her. I am really very proud of her because she had made her decision. She knows what is best for her and I am very happy that I am the one who she has chosen. Unfortunately he will always be there to interfere. He is rich, handsome looking and not fat like me. What can a person like me do to have my honey? The answer is anything. As long as my honey wants me to be with her then I can do anything for her. I will make her happy, I will listen to her problems, I will stay with her until she sleeps and etc. I am very crazy for my honey but owh well, that is who I am. Loving her is what I want to show her and I will make sure she feels it.

Despite being loyal and loving to her, there are people who hates me. Her family members and certain "friends". I asked myself, "What have I done to them that I am being hated?" I have no idea. I really want to know the answer because it is not fair for me to be treated like that. I respect her family members but her mom hates me then with all the hateful feelings from her mom, now her dad hates me too. I have a name and it is Patrick. But her sister calls me "fei yeh" aka the fat one. I know I am fat but that does not mean that she could just address me that way. I respect them but they do not respect me at all. It really hurts my heart. I have parents too. I am not adopted, so why treat me with no respect? If my parents were to know about this, they would be heart broken as well knowing that their son is not being respected when he is respecting the girlfriend's family members. If I know someone is talking bad about my girlfriend, I will stand up for her and defend her because I do not like people gossiping or talking bad about her. I just hope that my girlfriend would do the same for me as well. Standing up for me and protecting me instead of listening to all those bad words about me when I did nothing. Some might think that I am self praising but hey~ God knows and I would not want to self praise myself. That would be too pathetic. People have eyes to see for themselves, I need not tell them I have done the good thing.

I will always have the broken heart as long as I know that they hate me for doing nothing wrong. Even though I have done something wrong, all I wanted was just an advice so that I could change instead of talking behind my back and hurt my feelings. I have tried talking to her parents but they just shut me off and ignore me. Sigh~ I am doing what I need to do and what I want to do to be happy with my honey. I need not please them but parents' blessing are important. Too bad I am not blessed by them. I am like the devil to them where I must be cast away and never be with her daughter forever. They are Christians, so am I and I know that God did not ask them to treat me that way. My honey may not know how I really feel but seriously it hurts me a lot but I am willing to forgive her parents and her family members because God taught me how to forgive and forget. I will not hate God's creation but I will be angry for those who uses God's name just to please themselves.

Nevertheless, I have faith with my honey because her decision is to be with me and I will support her always no matter what happens. It might take time but time is all I have. I do not mind waiting for the one I love. As long as she knows what she is doing then I am happy and proud of her =)

Always In The Wrong But I Am Not Giving Up

I just do not get it why am I always in the wrong according to her. My honey says that I do not love her, says that I did not try to make her happy, and always blames me for scolding her. Whatever I say or do it is always scolding her when I did not. I really really feel that I am not treated fairly. I love her so much that I could do anything for her. But she blames me for scolding her although I did not. She will dig up the issue that I scolded her when she was rude to me. I am only teaching her the right stuff and not the wrong stuff. I was being accused for teaching her saying a harsh word when I did not. She learned that word from her friends and I was blamed by her mom and sister. Life treats me unfairly but all I want is just to be happy with her. When she is sad I will try my best to make her happy but when I am sad she would not try to make me happy. Instead she wants me to make her happy when I am sad. I do not mind because I tolerate. I give and take. I know she wants to be happy only but she doesn't know that I am also sad that I need her by my side just to cheer me up.

Nevertheless I am really down at times when she keeps on doing things that gets on my nerves. My honey might thinks that I always want to be right and always want to show off that I am the best. To be honest that is not what I am showing. I just want to be happy with her and not showing that I am always right and she is always wrong. I do make mistakes too but I just hope that my honey knows what she is doing. She cannot make other people sad just because she wants to be happy. I want to be happy with her but I always get the blame that I scold her. I admit I scolded her yesterday in a fatherly way because she was too rude to me and today she says that I only know how to scold her. Damn it breaks my heart. I do not know how to reply her because whatever I reply or text her is consider scolding. What have I done that I have to deserve this type of treatment?

She keeps on calling her ex sweet names and I do not like it. The only reason was because she is used to it. Okay she is used to it but that doesn't mean that she could continue on that habit. Does she knows that I am really sad and heart broken? I had enough of bullshit that her parents hate me for no reason, her elder sister too hates me. Seriously what have I done?! I did nothing to her family members. I even respected them and of course I respect my honey as well. But with all the respect that I have given, they treat me as a threat, as an enemy, as a bad person. I really do not know how to open my mouth to tell my honey to stop blaming me that I scold her. Why can't she just understand that I do not want to scold but only wanted respect when I am giving respect to them?! I do not need royal respect. My respect is just treating me good when I am treating them good. That's all I needed. Nothing more and nothing less. That is all I have wanted, needed and longed for it because I do not mind being a fool. I do not mind other people making use of me but as long as I do not think that is too much then it will be alright.

God I really wish that my honey will change her way of thinking. She says that she got phobia that I will scold her. I thought she knows me the best since we know each other for more than 10 years but then whatever she is saying is not who I am. She doesn't want to me scolded that is why she said that. Others might think that I am self praising but I am only loving her the way that I was not loved. I am not blaming my parents but it is because of them and some of the couples that I have seen and known changed me. I do not want to treat my honey badly or the way she is not suppose to be treated by a guy. I do what is best for my honey and I hope I am giving good example to the younger generation as well because nowadays young couples tend to break up just because of minor stuff. Another thing is that my brother is dating my honey's younger sister too and as a brother I should show good example.

My life with her is always full of surprises and often rough but I am sure that God will seek to it and lead us to a happy life one fine day. As long as I am alive, I am not giving up on her although she thinks of me as a monster that scolds her and although I am being treated unfairly by her family members. I admit that I am stupid and silly because I love her that's why. I am not giving up trying to make her happy despite she has the phobia.

Hurt by Someone I Love

Have you ever felt so down until you do not feel like eating nor drinking after an incident? It is very common to me but just now was really really heart broken.

I text my girlfriend and there was no reply so eventually I text her like this "Hello?". I got the reply instantly and she said that I was being rude and lansi (arrogrant). I was never known as an arrogant guy furthermore lansi (Cantonese language of arrogant) is very harsh word to say. Seriously if my friends call lansi, I don't give a damn because they are just my friends. Friends come and go, if my "friend" wants to give me his lansi attitude by calling me lansi although I am not, I can just ignore him and he will not be my friend soon.

Unfortunately the word "lansi" came out from my girlfriend's mouth. I felt hurt and I have no idea why she did that to me. Just a simple "Hello?" can cause her to call me "lansi"? I never taught her that at all. I called her and ask her why she said that to me. She answered, "Because she likes it". My heart instantly breaks into two and I felt so miserable. She blames that I did not text her, "Honey are you there?" instead of "Hello?". I do not mind changing how she wants me to text her because that is what she wants then I will give it to her since I love her but calling me "lansi"? Is that necessary? Those harsh words from the girl I love who hates it if I say the F word is now calling me "lansi" just because its her choice and she likes it.

Owh well, it is her choice. She likes or loves to hurt my feelings then so be it. As long as I do not hurt her feelings then can already. Anyhow, I am being hated by her family members for no reason, she wants to hate me too I can't do anything but just to accept the fact that I am not good enough for her.

P.S. If you are reading this. Am I really that lansi to you just because I text you "Hello?"

Do You Know How I feel?

Each and everyday I wait for my angel to text me first because I am afraid that I would disturb her but it seems like no matter what I text her as in like asking questions whether has she eaten or not. there will not be any reply. Seriously I am sad because I felt like I am being neglected although she is busy. I know she has lunch break so I text her during lunch but no reply from her as well.

Just a text or two would make me happy. I know she is busy but hey I do feel sad. I cannot do anything but just to wait for her to reply me. But once she text me, it is like nothing had happen like that. I do not know whether she knows that I am waiting for her or not. The feeling is damn hurting when a person is missing and waiting for a special person.

I just wanna to talk to her for awhile because I want her to know that even though how busy or bored I am, I will find some time just to talk to her. I guess she would never know the desperate feeling. All I want to do is just to call her early in the morning just to wish her good morning, call her during her lunch breaks, call her once she is back from her college and call her before she goes to bed. I am an idiot at times but I just want to show her that I love her. I want her to have the feeling that I am there for her although I am in KL whereas she is in Ipoh. If I can't show her the love then I do not deserve to be with her. I really want to be with her that is why I am trying my very best to do what is right.

I am quite down for all I can say. That is how I feel and I do not want to have those feeling. I just hope she could just reply my text. I do not mind waiting but I hope she knows how I feel waiting for the one I love.

Why Do I Love You?

A question from my angel which goes like this "Why do you love me so much?"

Nice question angel...I have known angel for more than 10 years. Well I could say I never knew you would be so special to me. I do not have a sister so I treated you as my younger back then. You were there for me whenever I am sad. You were there to cheer me up whenever I am down. I felt that you were so close to me although we only can see once every weekend.

I want to take this relationship to the next step is because I fell in love with you. I do not know why but it just came into me that I love you. There is no reason why I love you because I really cannot reason it out. All I could say is that there is no distance between you and I. No matter how far we are from each other I can wait until you return next to me. Mushy mushy feeling had always been inside me for over 5 years. I really cannot explain but I could always show you how much you meant to me =)

My love for you my angel has never faded and I will always love you. I will wait for you until the ends of the earth. I want to make other girls get jealous of you angel because I have chosen you angel as my life time partner! =)