A question from my angel which goes like this "Why do you love me so much?"
Nice question angel...I have known angel for more than 10 years. Well I could say I never knew you would be so special to me. I do not have a sister so I treated you as my younger back then. You were there for me whenever I am sad. You were there to cheer me up whenever I am down. I felt that you were so close to me although we only can see once every weekend.
I want to take this relationship to the next step is because I fell in love with you. I do not know why but it just came into me that I love you. There is no reason why I love you because I really cannot reason it out. All I could say is that there is no distance between you and I. No matter how far we are from each other I can wait until you return next to me. Mushy mushy feeling had always been inside me for over 5 years. I really cannot explain but I could always show you how much you meant to me =)
My love for you my angel has never faded and I will always love you. I will wait for you until the ends of the earth. I want to make other girls get jealous of you angel because I have chosen you angel as my life time partner! =)
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Monday, 24 September 2012
Ego
Every guy has his own ego. I have mind but I can honestly say that it is not huge. I do not give a damn about my ego when I am talking to my angel. It is because I put down my ego just to talk to her.
I rather apologize to her than to make her sad. What she says I will listen. I am not a dog if some of you think I am but I am just doing it because I want her to be happy. I want to prove it to her that I am worth being with. There are many other ways to make her happy though but I just can't do those since I am too useless. What I have is ego and what I can throw away is also my ego.
Today I was pretty sad because I woke up around 10am hoping that I could just call her to wake her up. I called her from 10am until 2pm but she didn't pick up...I thought she was still sleeping but I was wrong. She was at college. Around 10:30pm she called me and I was really really happy that she called me but in the end it turned out to be she was sad. She asked me will I let her go again and my answer was never letting you go because I never let you go before. With my answer she was sad. I have no idea why she was sad. She didn't even want to talk to me although she uttered something. I asked her to repeat because I could not hear what she said but she didn't bother to repeat and just replied "nothing".
Angel please talk to me. I do not want you to keep quiet whenever there is problem or you are sad. I might not be helpful enough but I just want to comfort you. I have known you for more than 10 years. Whenever you are sad I know it instantly. I did not give up on holding you back when you left me. I did held you as strong as a vault. But I felt like I am controlling you. Therefore I let loose a bit so that I want you to have some freedom as well. Please do not think that I am not putting effort into this relationship. Sometimes you push me away although you want me to hold you back but I am afraid of hurting you when I am holding you back. I would just listen to you and just back off because I am afraid that I would lose you again! Angel you have no idea how sad is it to lose someone over and over again. It sucks and it hurts! I do not want to lose you.
I do feel sad too and I will share it with you. I want you to be the first to know everything inside my heart because you are important to me and you are someone special that I would share my problems with. No matter how sad I am, I will try my best to cheer you up angel. =)
I rather apologize to her than to make her sad. What she says I will listen. I am not a dog if some of you think I am but I am just doing it because I want her to be happy. I want to prove it to her that I am worth being with. There are many other ways to make her happy though but I just can't do those since I am too useless. What I have is ego and what I can throw away is also my ego.
Today I was pretty sad because I woke up around 10am hoping that I could just call her to wake her up. I called her from 10am until 2pm but she didn't pick up...I thought she was still sleeping but I was wrong. She was at college. Around 10:30pm she called me and I was really really happy that she called me but in the end it turned out to be she was sad. She asked me will I let her go again and my answer was never letting you go because I never let you go before. With my answer she was sad. I have no idea why she was sad. She didn't even want to talk to me although she uttered something. I asked her to repeat because I could not hear what she said but she didn't bother to repeat and just replied "nothing".
Angel please talk to me. I do not want you to keep quiet whenever there is problem or you are sad. I might not be helpful enough but I just want to comfort you. I have known you for more than 10 years. Whenever you are sad I know it instantly. I did not give up on holding you back when you left me. I did held you as strong as a vault. But I felt like I am controlling you. Therefore I let loose a bit so that I want you to have some freedom as well. Please do not think that I am not putting effort into this relationship. Sometimes you push me away although you want me to hold you back but I am afraid of hurting you when I am holding you back. I would just listen to you and just back off because I am afraid that I would lose you again! Angel you have no idea how sad is it to lose someone over and over again. It sucks and it hurts! I do not want to lose you.
I do feel sad too and I will share it with you. I want you to be the first to know everything inside my heart because you are important to me and you are someone special that I would share my problems with. No matter how sad I am, I will try my best to cheer you up angel. =)
Monday, 17 September 2012
Just The Way You Are
Hey I just met you...and this crazy, so here's my number...so call me maybe?
Yup, she has been calling me almost everyday during the midnight. I really do miss the midnight chats especially when she purposely stay awake just to talk to me. Nevertheless, it is still a complicated relationship that we are overcoming. I do not know how would she feel with this situation but I do not feel nice at all. What I can do is just to support her, comfort her, cheer her up and ever ready on standby mode for her.
I am going all out just to love my little angel.
Unfortunately a guy like me who is loyal, doesn't smokes, doesn't drinks, doesn't gamble and doesn't flirt just got talked bad about. I was known as the fat boy who has something wrong with my brain. First of all I am not as fat as you think I am...I do not have the rounded shape...not even close. Second of all what is wrong with my brain? Just because I am being loyal to my angel and I would love to chase her back is something wrong? I thought only the bad ass guys who flirts around with girls and cheat the girls will be talk bad about.
But hey, I am a naive guy because I do not need to listen to what people say just to love my angel. I am hated my her parents and hated by some of her friends for being loyal. Seriously is that worth hating? Is that worth saying no to our relationship? We have been together for 5 years and I am not complaining that it is boring. I love my angel a lot and forever loving her.
There is something that puts me down, that is the relationship between my angel and him. She is happy because there are 2 guys loving her. I thought I was the only one she is talking to (as in a special guy) but he is another special guy too. She just can't let him go as well. Seeing her texting him so sweetly with lovey dovey names and giving him hope that she still wants him although she told me that she wants to be with me. I am doing a lot of things just for her. Just to get her back into my arms...not by force but just by heart. I bought her Sticky candy for her because she loves it. She loves Milky Way chocolates and I will be buying that for her too. I am getting her 2 Holland rabbits as her birthday present as well. I know buying things for her might not change anything but at least I know what she loves and likes rather than not knowing and not doing anything even though I have known. Does he knows what she really loves and likes? Did he give those stuff to her to prove that he loves her until he understands my angel? I seriously do not know but all I know is that she is still with him even though she loves me. She does not have the heart to leave him but I feel that it is not fair for me either =(
Anyhow tomorrow is that guy's birthday. Will my angel spend a day with him? Will my angel buy present for him? If she is buying present for him, will it be a loving present where it shows love to him or just a normal present? I just hope that tomorrow will never come true. I am jealous I admit. I do not want to share my angel. It is like kissing the person I love the most and kiss another girl with that same lips. That is so not going to happen to me because I am not like that. Sharing is caring but for this situation sharing my love one is not caring at all! The only other girl I will kiss is my future daughter if I am going to have a daughter or two with my beloved angel.
I love just the way my angel is and I would love to let her know that I am not giving up on loving her =)
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
I Have Return
Wow it has been a long time I did not update my blog.
I have been busy for the past few months.
Last month I had my sem break, I worked at Sushi King for 3 weeks and it was fascinating! I can't believe that working is that fun. Seriously fun. I am not joking. Well maybe it is because I met nice friends and it was my first time working >_<
I got cuts and bruises but it was worth it =)
During that moment, something happened that opened my heart. That is HOPE.
It was memorable and I have been waiting for this time to come. Megan my love one was not happy with her boyfriend and she told me all these while she was missing me and still loving me. I thanked God for this day to happen because I am ready to catch her if he did not. I promised her that I would wait for her and this is the time I will prove it to her that I still love her after what we have done to each other 4 months ago.
Fair enough that Megan and I gave him a chance to change but all he did was making her more sad. I comforted her, held her in my arms, hugged her, and most importantly make her feel happy even though she had a rough moment with the wrong guy. I have never felt so alive before. She made me whole and she realized that I am a special guy that nobody could replace me...I am very glad and thankful after knowing that I am irreplaceable =)
I have indeed changed a lot (in a good way of course) in her eyes. I will prove to her that this new Patrick is worth being with and loving. I will make sure she will not leave me anymore for I will take care of her and give her the best that anyone could give her...obviously not spoiling her but loving her with all my heart.
Although Megan and that guy have to clear things out...it takes time for everything to settle...at the mean time I would like to chase/court Megan where I never had a chance to do so. If I am the one she would want to be with, I will be the one who will give her happiness with the help of God =)
I have been busy for the past few months.
Last month I had my sem break, I worked at Sushi King for 3 weeks and it was fascinating! I can't believe that working is that fun. Seriously fun. I am not joking. Well maybe it is because I met nice friends and it was my first time working >_<
I got cuts and bruises but it was worth it =)
During that moment, something happened that opened my heart. That is HOPE.
It was memorable and I have been waiting for this time to come. Megan my love one was not happy with her boyfriend and she told me all these while she was missing me and still loving me. I thanked God for this day to happen because I am ready to catch her if he did not. I promised her that I would wait for her and this is the time I will prove it to her that I still love her after what we have done to each other 4 months ago.
Fair enough that Megan and I gave him a chance to change but all he did was making her more sad. I comforted her, held her in my arms, hugged her, and most importantly make her feel happy even though she had a rough moment with the wrong guy. I have never felt so alive before. She made me whole and she realized that I am a special guy that nobody could replace me...I am very glad and thankful after knowing that I am irreplaceable =)
I have indeed changed a lot (in a good way of course) in her eyes. I will prove to her that this new Patrick is worth being with and loving. I will make sure she will not leave me anymore for I will take care of her and give her the best that anyone could give her...obviously not spoiling her but loving her with all my heart.
Although Megan and that guy have to clear things out...it takes time for everything to settle...at the mean time I would like to chase/court Megan where I never had a chance to do so. If I am the one she would want to be with, I will be the one who will give her happiness with the help of God =)
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