Ego

Every guy has his own ego. I have mind but I can honestly say that it is not huge. I do not give a damn about my ego when I am talking to my angel. It is because I put down my ego just to talk to her.

I rather apologize to her than to make her sad. What she says I will listen. I am not a dog if some of you think I am but I am just doing it because I want her to be happy. I want to prove it to her that I am worth being with. There are many other ways to make her happy though but I just can't do those since I am too useless. What I have is ego and what I can throw away is also my ego.

Today I was pretty sad because I woke up around 10am hoping that I could just call her to wake her up. I called her from 10am until 2pm but she didn't pick up...I thought she was still sleeping but I was wrong. She was at college. Around 10:30pm she called me and I was really really happy that she called me but in the end it turned out to be she was sad. She asked me will I let her go again and my answer was never letting you go because I never let you go before. With my answer she was sad. I have no idea why she was sad. She didn't even want to talk to me although she uttered something. I asked her to repeat because I could not hear what she said but she didn't bother to repeat and just replied "nothing".

Angel please talk to me. I do not want you to keep quiet whenever there is problem or you are sad. I might not be helpful enough but I just want to comfort you. I have known you for more than 10 years. Whenever you are sad I know it instantly. I did not give up on holding you back when you left me. I did held you as strong as a vault. But I felt like I am controlling you. Therefore I let loose a bit so that I want you to have some freedom as well. Please do not think that I am not putting effort into this relationship. Sometimes you push me away although you want me to hold you back but I am afraid of hurting you when I am holding you back. I would just listen to you and just back off because I am afraid that I would lose you again! Angel you have no idea how sad is it to lose someone over and over again. It sucks and it hurts! I do not want to lose you.

I do feel sad too and I will share it with you. I want you to be the first to know everything inside my heart because you are important to me and you are someone special that I would share my problems with. No matter how sad I am, I will try my best to cheer you up angel. =)

Just The Way You Are

Hey I just met you...and this crazy, so here's my number...so call me maybe?

Yup, she has been calling me almost everyday during the midnight. I really do miss the midnight chats especially when she purposely stay awake just to talk to me. Nevertheless, it is still a complicated relationship that we are overcoming. I do not know how would she feel with this situation but I do not feel nice at all. What I can do is just to support her, comfort her, cheer her up and ever ready on standby mode for her. 

I am going all out just to love my little angel.

Unfortunately a guy like me who is loyal, doesn't smokes, doesn't drinks, doesn't gamble and doesn't flirt just got talked bad about. I was known as the fat boy who has something wrong with my brain. First of all I am not as fat as you think I am...I do not have the rounded shape...not even close. Second of all what is wrong with my brain? Just because I am being loyal to my angel and I would love to chase her back is something wrong? I thought only the bad ass guys who flirts around with girls and cheat the girls will be talk bad about. 

But hey, I am a naive guy because I do not need to listen to what people say just to love my angel. I am hated my her parents and hated by some of her friends for being loyal. Seriously is that worth hating? Is that worth saying no to our relationship? We have been together for 5 years and I am not complaining that it is boring. I love my angel a lot and forever loving her.

There is something that puts me down, that is the relationship between my angel and him. She is happy because there are 2 guys loving her. I thought I was the only one she is talking to (as in a special guy) but he is another special guy too. She just can't let him go as well. Seeing her texting him so sweetly with lovey dovey names and giving him hope that she still wants him although she told me that she wants to be with me. I am doing a lot of things just for her. Just to get her back into my arms...not by force but just by heart. I bought her Sticky candy for her because she loves it. She loves Milky Way chocolates and I will be buying that for her too. I am getting her 2 Holland rabbits as her birthday present as well. I know buying things for her might not change anything but at least I know what she loves and likes rather than not knowing and not doing anything even though I have known. Does he knows what she really loves and likes? Did he give those stuff to her to prove that he loves her until he understands my angel? I seriously do not know but all I know is that she is still with him even though she loves me. She does not have the heart to leave him but I feel that it is not fair for me either =(

Anyhow tomorrow is that guy's birthday. Will my angel spend a day with him? Will my angel buy present for him? If she is buying present for him, will it be a loving present where it shows love to him or just a normal present? I just hope that tomorrow will never come true. I am jealous I admit. I do not want to share my angel. It is like kissing the person I love the most and kiss another girl with that same lips. That is so not going to happen to me because I am not like that. Sharing is caring but for this situation sharing my love one is not caring at all! The only other girl I will kiss is my future daughter if I am going to have a daughter or two with my beloved angel.

I love just the way my angel is and I would love to let her know that I am not giving up on loving her =)

I Have Return

Wow it has been a long time I did not update my blog.
I have been busy for the past few months.

Last month I had my sem break, I worked at Sushi King for 3 weeks and it was fascinating! I can't believe that working is that fun. Seriously fun. I am not joking. Well maybe it is because I met nice friends and it was my first time working >_<

I got cuts and bruises but it was worth it =)

During that moment, something happened that opened my heart. That is HOPE.

It was memorable and I have been waiting for this time to come. Megan my love one was not happy with her boyfriend and she told me all these while she was missing me and still loving me. I thanked God for this day to happen because I am ready to catch her if he did not. I promised her that I would wait for her and this is the time I will prove it to her that I still love her after what we have done to each other 4 months ago.

Fair enough that Megan and I gave him a chance to change but all he did was making her more sad. I comforted her, held her in my arms, hugged her, and most importantly make her feel happy even though she had a rough moment with the wrong guy. I have never felt so alive before. She made me whole and she realized that I am a special guy that nobody could replace me...I am very glad and thankful after knowing that I am irreplaceable =)

I have indeed changed a lot (in a good way of course) in her eyes. I will prove to her that this new Patrick is worth being with and loving. I will make sure she will not leave me anymore for I will take care of her and give her the best that anyone could give her...obviously not spoiling her but loving her with all my heart.

Although Megan and that guy have to clear things out...it takes time for everything to settle...at the mean time I would like to chase/court Megan where I never had a chance to do so. If I am the one she would want to be with, I will be the one who will give her happiness with the help of God =)

3 Days Working In PC Fair

KLCC PC Fair! 

I got a job as a promoter for Avast anti virus and the pay was RM80 per day and the commission was very low. Better than nothing though because I got nothing to do. RM240 for 3 days is like free salary. The first day it was at KLCC Convention Centre. My friend and I was situated at a place there were not many people there. The target for that day was 10 copies of anti virus sold per promoter. PC Fair ain't fair for software. Its the hardware that is cheaper. Who the heck goes to PC Fair just to look for anti virus?

Owh well, my job is to promote and having a nice relationship with the customer is what I do best. But seriously some other promoters do not know what are they doing! They gave wrong information to the customers not to say cheat but unintentionally the customers were being cheated because the information was not correct given by the other promoters.

My friend and I managed to sold 4 copies only on the first day due the "feng shui" place. To us it was a better than none sold. We were "scolded" because there were many people not holding Avast pamphlet. Are you kidding me?! They do not want to take it then what can we do?! Force them to take and persuade them into taking the pamphlet? So am I suppose to say, "Hey sir/miss, here take our pamphlet to wipe your ass. Our pamphlet has a wider surface area compared to your toilet paper."

The next day my friend and I was sent to Low Yat because they have their fair as well. At first we thought that Low Yat will be worse but it turned out to be awesome! The target at Low Yat was 5 copies per promoter but we managed to sell around 15. It was really really tiring and my legs could not take it anymore. I went back to my apartment with a zombified body.

The last day of my work was also at Low Yat but this time the target was 10 copies. My friend and I was like WTH?! Yesterday the target was 5 per promoter and now it is doubled?! What are the chances to get as many customers as before? It is tough but we tried our best. Surprisingly the sales was awesome after lunch! The total copies we sold was 26! We achieved our target and we have bonus RM75 in our pay. 

When we reported to the person in charge of our sales, he was shocked! He sent 2 MVPs away and I bet he regretted. If not KLCC would have better sales compared to Low Yat. Average out both of us beat the other promoters in KLCC flat. It was a nice experience though because it was my first time working. The next PC Fair will be in Ipoh and I wish to work in my hometown as well.

You Call Your Girlfriend a Bitch?

I was playing League of Legends and while I was waiting for the game to start, there is this Singaporean asshole who is only 17 years old said something that pissed me off badly. His girlfriend called him via Skype and he said that his BITCH was disturbing him. What the hell is this?! The game has not started and he was already acting like a total jackass! He should not deserve to have a girlfriend. I do not care how handsome or how rich he is but girls are not meant to be treated like that!

Once the game started and the battle has not even initiated, he already made a statement that I am a noob and I will feed the opponent. He made me so damn angry, so in the game I KS-ed him most of the time. My team won but I felt fun KS-ing him and I did not save him when he was in trouble or danger.


I am suffering here waiting to have a nice girl to be with me after my ex left me but some people who already have a partner do not appreciate who they have.

Just Wait For It

I have been listening to many people talking about relationship that does not turn out well or bad and they will usually follow up with a sentence like this "someday you will find someone better and he/she will appreciate you". Now seriously I do not think that it will be that "easy". Appreciating me as a good friend that is of course a yes but appreciating me as a partner in life, I do not think so.

I have seen many guys who are Single, Available and Desperate which leads to SAD. I am one of them and I should I be proud of myself being single? I hate it because I know what I had done last time. Loving my ex as if she was my everything! If I did not know how to appreciate Love and I am happy when I am single, that means I was not ready to be in a relationship. I was just having my sweet time with a girl. Seriously NO! I am ready for it. I am glad I do not go behaving like some other guys or boys who breaks girls' heart! I do not smoke, I do not drink...well red wine is exceptional for me, I do not gamble and I do not flirt! I guess these types are mostly found in the geeks or nerds category. Am I one of them?

Come on! Even my geeky nerdy friends found a partner! How about me? *sigh*

She was everything to me until she left me...now I am just waiting for the right person to fill up my empty heart so that I could be in love again.

It is really quite difficult to live a life as a guy like me though when it comes to loving a girl.

It seems like you want someone, they do not want you,

When someone wants you, you do not want them,

When both want each other,

Something has to come around and mess things up.

I wish I will not wait for eternity because I missed the loving moment :'(

Responsibility

Watched The Amazing Spiderman just now but what is amazing is that he is amazingly playful =)
Webbing criminal's groin and he was quite in a rush to kiss XD
But over all it is not bad, humor and action is pretty well balanced.

With great power comes great responsibility

Put Spiderman aside but seriously all of us should know what it means by "With great power comes great responsibility". We are not born with super powers but we are children of God. It is sad to see and hear that people are breaking up over small matter. I was pushed away and I was really being treated as strangers, not even friends. It sucks and it hurts badly. No matter what do not try to treat that person who isn't going well with the relationship as strangers.

There are couples who have these 7 stages looping but some just maintain the stages at 4 and 5.
stage 1 : strangers
stage 2 : the chase
stage 3 : honeymoon
stage 4 : comfortable
stage 5 : tolerance
stage 6 : downhill
stage 7 : breaking up

Even though its a break up, both the parties can still be friends. Please do not make it as though nothing happened and good memories do not just disappear. When one wants a relationship, it is not as easy as everyone of us thinks. It is not a fairy tale, not a drama and yet not a dream. Sacrifices have to be done. Money, time, studies, friends and family is involved for certain people.

I am already 21 and my friends in Facebook are getting married at the age of 20 and 21. Gosh~ that was quick. I am still studying here and they are getting married. Come to think of that, its my female friends who are getting married. Male friends are still chilling out, studying, working and etc. Wow girls are more fortunate than boys.

Owh well, God gave us Love so we have to play our part and be responsible and have responsibility when it comes to having a relationship. Treasure it, appreciate them, do not break your love ones' heart, stay loyal, be sincere, do not hide and many more things! But if there are arguments, just sit down and talk to each other. Empty the mind and talk while thinking of the sweet memories when 2 person are together. Don't go hopping from a relationship to another. If and only if things do not work out well, just talk it out no matter what the outcome will be.

It is always a good thing that a person is not single and at the meantime single isn't that bad because single thinks about how happy they can be with the one they like or love while couples argue even though they are with the loved ones. There is no best of both worlds but its Love that kept us stronger and kept going.